CHROMIUM III COMING SOON!

So, here's the cover! As usual we're having a lot of laughs making this thing. But more than laughs we're also suffering quite a fuckin bit to bring you the finest of toilet reads.

We've packed so much into this thing that some of it is already spilling over to the the 4th issue. Not gonna give away any secrets, but it's a rad read, if I may be so bold. Nothing life changing or awe-inspiring, I'm afraid, but you know...same old Chromium shannigan-isms.

Anyway, it's coming in late April, early May. So there. Get ready for issue 3 - "SCAZZARD'S REIGN: RETURN TO SCAZZARD.

TAKING A BREAK FROM ART & WORKING ON A POSITRON COLLIDER...

Ok, so apart from slave labor duties of writing & drawing for CHROMIUM, I usually kinda like unwinding with a few casual sips & work on another geeky passion of mine - props. I know, I know, start the shit flinging now. I get enough crap from the gang, girlfriend & the folks already, so pull up a chair and take part in the judgement. ahaha, fuck you, my good friends. keeps me sane & I guess it was a bug I picked up when I was directing & designing sets for plays in University.

Anyway, latest project is a full scale, 100% screen accurate Proton Backpack from one of my favorite films of all time, GHOSTBUSTERS. No! Not Ghostbusters II. That just sucked.

Anyway, something that I wanted to do my whole life. I used to strap my mom's vacuum on my back when I was a kid in a book bag & scope the house looking for weird shit. Well, I figured I owed it to my 7-year old self and finally make one.

I've been working on this for a while now because it's really gonna take a lot of time & cash to get this bastard rite & ready. The shells are all made from vacuumed pack shell. Each segment of the pack is divided into lots of small, mind-boggling parts that have to be spray painted, aged,

glued, screwed & wired. I got the blueprints, like a lot of other prop builders, from the actual production designs & websites. Most of the exact parts are available

from any hardware, army navy surplus or electronic shops. Special lights have

to be ordered online, as well as the sound effects mother boards & speakers. In total, the pack, gun, lights, uniform, & trap will be waaaay over $2000. I know. Fuckin crazy. It'll be worth it though. Chicks'll dig it (ahem).

Anyways, thought I'd share this shit with you bangers, because I know damn well there's a lot out there wh

o'd like to have one too. Drop Me a line if yo have any questions with this stuff.

And yes, CHROMIUM III is coming along quite nicely.

WORK PLAYLIST:

MASSACRE - From Beyond

RATT - Reach For the Sky

MIDNIGHT - Farewell to Hell

JUDAS PRIEST - Sad Wings of Destiny

BENJAMIN ORR - The Lace

SUMMER JOB - Soundtrack

PROJECT BEER OF CHOICE: Bohemian

BACKGROUND MOVIE: TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000

Keep it greasy - Philthy

The Return of the PENALIZER!? -

BREAKING NEWS today for all you devout PENALIZER fans! Yes, despite all the raging debates on blabbermouth, Nathaniel Shawcross will be reforming the original 80's shockrock outfit with the complete original line-up, excluding, of course, lead guitarist, Mason De La Lequoirre, who was found dead in the aisles of a Jacksonville Wal-Mart 2 months ago.

"Mason's death was a bitter pill to swallow... because of all the unresolved issues we both had in the past. We hadn't spoken in years," said Shawcross. "It's only now that he's dead & gone that I miss his company. Of course, his "son" is in his late teens now & from what I hear, he's got some talent too. I guess it's fair to point out now though, that his kid wasn't actually his. In fact, it was mine. I made of the love with Mason's wife once on the Frenziedfuck tour & she got pregnant. It was a big secret, but now that he's dead, no harm in confessing."

Felix Monera & Vixx Naughton were more than pleased when they got the call. Both musicians had given completely up on music & worked diligently with UNICEF for years now, vastly improving the quality of life for a wide number of less fortunate children. "But it just wasn't satisfying, you know. Yeah sure, we were providing clean water supply & grains for the children & building schools & hospitals & shit like that. Really making a difference in their lives. It it was all good to see the smiles on their faces too, but you know what...what about my smiles!? I was never really content like I was having sex with teenage girls and doing rails of blow off of fancy hotel, pewter furniture," Said Naughton. I couldn't say no."

Actually, according to Shawcross, "the forthcoming album, "Fuck to Live...Dying to Fuck" was originally written as a solo concept album while I was working in the dinner theatre. I realized, however, that by announcing a reunion tour would be more profitable."
As for his weight gain, Shawcross promises that it'll only make the album sound heavier than ever. Stay tuned.

CATCHING UP WITH CLIVE

It's an honor to have Mr. Dovington in Chromium HQ via the phone lines from Jolly Ol.' Clive's been working with us now for over year and we value his metal expertise, especially in the rich fields of NWOBHM (New Wave of British Heavy Metal -in case you don't know sweet fuck all). Welcome Sir.

Clive: 'Allo, 'allo, 'allo. What 'ave we 'ere?

CD: Philthy, brah.' That's what you got.

Clive: Awright geeezzaa! Where da fuck is Dave? Sorted mate!

CD: 'Prolly sick as fuck, my man. I know he's in the studio recording with SLAUGHTER STRIKE. Heavy as shit, dude, you'd probably hate it.

Clive: Lawd above! Dave's a upton park lad, no doubt. Real one ton ov a bitch. But I twilight crap 'im., innit.

CD:...yes. Exactly. So Clive's what's new, dude? What's on the playlist & how's work?

Clive: Ten rabi' 'utch man. Just 'ere workin' on da QUARTZ fan club, Mailin' aaaht membership cards what I just finished laminating.6 more members dis year already. Just started workin' at me mad lad's new chip stand an' I'm sellin' mixed tapes I made aaaht ov i' an' all. Deadly. I do believe you call 'em ....fries. Mad.

CD: So, what kind of tunes you have on say...your best seller bootleg cassette?

Clive: Lor' luv a duck! Glad you asked. It's fuckin' gem! Here's da tracklist . Nuff said, yeah?

Cronos - Dancing in the Fire , Saxon - "Still Fit to Boogie" Nightwing - "Evil Woman"

White Spirit - "High Upon High" Axis - "Galaxy of Love" Blackmayne - "Man Overboard"

Big Daisy -" Fever" Bollweevil- "Sands of Time" Hammer - "Caution to the Wind"

Helvellyn - "On Top and Movin' Goldsmith -"Everybody Needs It" & Race Against Time (demo) - "Bleed You Dry"

Phil: Nice. Not the standard line-up of tracks. How much for one?

Clive: How much do you you 'ave?

(Interview was cut short. Clive's Mom needed the phone)