BREAKING NEWS today for all you devout PENALIZER fans! Yes, despite all the raging debates on blabbermouth, Nathaniel Shawcross will be reforming the original 80's shockrock outfit with the complete original line-up, excluding, of course, lead guitarist, Mason De La Lequoirre, who was found dead in the aisles of a Jacksonville Wal-Mart 2 months ago.
"Mason's death was a bitter pill to swallow... because of all the unresolved issues we both had in the past. We hadn't spoken in years," said Shawcross. "It's only now that he's dead & gone that I miss his company. Of course, his "son" is in his late teens now & from what I hear, he's got some talent too. I guess it's fair to point out now though, that his kid wasn't actually his. In fact, it was mine. I made of the love with Mason's wife once on the Frenziedfuck tour & she got pregnant. It was a big secret, but now that he's dead, no harm in confessing."
Felix Monera & Vixx Naughton were more than pleased when they got the call. Both musicians had given completely up on music & worked diligently with UNICEF for years now, vastly improving the quality of life for a wide number of less fortunate children. "But it just wasn't satisfying, you know. Yeah sur
e, we were providing clean water supply & grains for the children & building schools & hospitals & shit like that. Really making a difference in their lives. It it was all good to see the smiles on their faces too, but you know what...what about my smiles!? I was never really content like I was having sex with teenage girls and doing rails of blow off of fancy hotel, pewter furniture," Said Naughton. I couldn't say no."
Actually, according to Shawcross, "the forthcoming album, "Fuck to Live...Dying to Fuck" was originally written as a solo concept album while I was working in the dinner theatre. I realized, however, that by announcing a reunion tour would be more profitable."
As for his weight gain, Shawcross promises that it'll only make the album sound heavier than ever. Stay tuned.
e, we were providing clean water supply & grains for the children & building schools & hospitals & shit like that. Really making a difference in their lives. It it was all good to see the smiles on their faces too, but you know what...what about my smiles!? I was never really content like I was having sex with teenage girls and doing rails of blow off of fancy hotel, pewter furniture," Said Naughton. I couldn't say no."Actually, according to Shawcross, "the forthcoming album, "Fuck to Live...Dying to Fuck" was originally written as a solo concept album while I was working in the dinner theatre. I realized, however, that by announcing a reunion tour would be more profitable."
As for his weight gain, Shawcross promises that it'll only make the album sound heavier than ever. Stay tuned.
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