BEFORE THERE WAS CHROMIUM,THERE WAS...disappointment

Of all the failures in my life, the biggest & the bitterest pill of all to swallow, would have to be the failure of my "could've, would've, should've" animation series, "JOBBERS."

To give you a little bit of backgroud on myself, I, along with my cousin, Toby Aylward owned & operated a comic/graphic/rock swag shop in Wabush, Labrador called ADMIRAL BLISS COMICS. Apart from running the shop, Tobe & I taught art & basic animation to BAD kids. Poor little bastards were exposed to a lot of shit waaaay before their time, and thinking back, perhaps a screening of CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST to a bunch of 10 year olds might've been an exercise in poor judgement but, I dunno. World's a wonderful shithole, & with seeing an anally impaled woman on a wooden stake or a rusty machete castration outta the way, they were well on their way outside the safe, naive confines of their Grade 4 walls.

At night, Tobe & I drank excessively in the shop, listening to tunes, from SLAYER to ALDO NOVA, & began developing an animated series of our own. Not entirely sure of what we wanted to do, we toyed with a couple of ideas ranging from the lurid adventures of The Bearded Child (yes, I was smoking a lot of Hash) to a villanous rouge named SIR-GRAPES-A-LOT. Nothing was really gelling. I was sick as fuck of superheroes, but for some reason (maybe it was the fact that we were developing in a comic shop) it was all I could think. But then, in a stroke of genius, Tobe blurted, "what about wrestling?" Boom. Genius. It was in front of us the whole time! Tobe is one of the biggest wrestling fans of all time (he owns every VICTORY, WWWF-WWF-WWE mag ever!). I hadn't been a fan since Hogan lost to that over-rated fuck, the Ultimate Warrior in 1990, but it seemed like it could be a funny cartoon, with a lot of great characters. We aggreed that it had to be raw & very adult humor driven, like a PG-13 to an R-rated Hulk Hogan's Rock n' Roll Wrestling. Here's what we came up with:

"JOBBERS" FOCUSES ON THE CONTINUING CONFLICT BETWEEN 2"HAS BEEN" WRESTLERS & THEIR RESPECTIVE OPPOSING FRAT HOUSES ON THE CAMPUS OF A PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY -SPECIALIZING IN EVERY ASPECT OF PRO WRESTLING. A TERRITORIAL BATTLE ON CAMPUS BETWEEN "THE PENALIZERS" (HEELS), LED BY A VERY BITTER SIR GRAPES-A-LOT & "THE MISSIONARY SIX" LED BY FORMER CHAMPION THE GOLDEN IDOL WHILST TRYING TO ACHEIVE THEIR DEGREES AND ENTER THE BIG LEAGUE & A CHANCE TO FOR THEIR LEADERS TO REGAIN FALLEN SUPERSTAR STATUS.

Long story short, we wrote a 40 page bible: character discriptions, rotation sheets, mouth charts, 24 episode synopsis & a hilarious pilot show that had the balls to begin as a "remember when" clip show, something that a series wouldn't dream of doing unless, of course, they were running out of ideas. We gained a lot of attention, and people were interested. Tobe & I closed down shop, moved to Toronto to take it to

the next level & then...the air blew outta the sails. No one would touch it. We attended several conventions & a lot of false promises were made. Even a game was proposed. We were told that we needed to make the pilot first. We also needed a production company and we had ZERO fuckin money. We charged at it with blinders and sadly. we hit a brick wall...hard. I was pretty depressed & kinda felt utterly defeated. Sad part was, I know it'd work. Fuck man. THE WRESTLER won academy awards! That was the same story, but ours was a comedy. Either way, it seemed to be a lost cause and I started doing freelance work designing menus, business logos, some band t-shirts & covers. To make ends meet Tobe & I took jobs as Security guards on Gerrard/Jarvis dealing with hookers, bums, & crack heads. Not exactly the plan.

(TOP: L-R MASKED ALCOHOLIC, MAGBJORN P.I.,SIN-IN-THE-SUBURBS, AGING HIPSTER, HUMAN SCORPION MAN & GOLDEN IDOL. THREE DOLLAR BILLIE)

(BOTTOM: L-R BEE KEEPER, SERFEI PISTOV, JAILBAIT. NAPOLEON COMPLEX. DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED SEAMAN, SIR GRAPES-A-LOT, SHEIK AHNEIDTOSHEET)

CHROMIUM's really been a pick me up and when I say thanks for buying it, I REALLY fuckin mean it. And a big thanks again! Metal's always been there & always will. A solid bastard of a bro - a sexist, sometimes misogynistic, immature, corny, pissy pal, but no matter what, it's ALWAYS put a smile a face & I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing with my life than writing about it...apart from escorting urinating bums off property & dodging pocket knife weilding hookers, of course.

Yes, what a wonder shithole this world is.