CHROMIUM DIOXIDE METAL MAG

CHROMIUM DIOXIDE IV: Midnight Champagne RELEASE PARTY

2011-06-11T08:53:00.001-07:00

Man oh man. If a picture says a million words, then what the fuck does a poorly assembled Banzai Records collage have to say!? Thanks to HARD LUCK BAR for having us. TOXIC VISION Sharon for all she did to make the sleazy theme of this issue come to hot n' sexy life, Nic & Cam for great shots & of course all you awesomely miserable chi's & castle brides for coming out & howling at the moon with us & then swooning on the filthy floor. Drunk as hell. True as steel VINYL ONLY party of raging death, speed, glam, Euro obscuro, thrash &, of course, sultry A.O.R Pomp. See you at the FIFTH!

SHIT OFF!! IT'S ANOTHER RELEASE PARTY!

2011-04-26T09:45:00.001-07:00

Hear ye, Hear ye. So nothing really else to say except read the poster. Big fuckin dance off. Slimer & I will be spinning ONLY VINYL (not bull-shit MP3/ipods). There's gonna be babes, cake, loot bags, conjurings, and prizes. So come out and dance with us.

THE CHAMPAGNE HANGOVER BEGINS...

2011-03-09T05:25:00.000-08:00

With the release of issue # 4 just around the corner, we've decided to really push ourselves past the casual production of the zine & go all out to get more of these out to you guys. In the past, we usually took a month & a half off from Chromium to relax from the hellish task of making one of these; enjoy the fruits of our labour: wine, women & song. This time, however, we're buckling down right away on the moody grimness of the 5th installment: STEELE DIAMOND. Like I said, the sickly sweetness of the 4th collapses under it's own weight & number 5 will be our EMPIRE STRIKES BACK/ TEMPLE OF DOOM - the bastard issue. Anyway, hang tight & thank you to all you sum' bitches out there supporting the mag! Eventually CHROMIUM, like NATIONAL LAMPOON (in their prime) will make it it's mission to make films...
CHROMIUM DIOXIDE'S SHROVE TUESDAY & CHROMIUM DIOXIDE'S LEAGUE NIGHT??? Stick around. In the meantime, nuke the popcorn & pour up the J&B, it's fuckin' date night.

Just a few Samples of my Collection

2011-03-08T11:21:00.001-08:00

Decided to post a few pics of my Metal Lp's & a few rare Horror soundtrack Lp.s The rarest of the rare in this list would HAVE to be SMITHWORKS "Covered in Blood" which I picked up for $4.99 and it turned out to be a $500 +(!!!) album. RUSH's debut on Moon Records is also a valuable one here. Of course this isn't even the tip of my 4000 plus metal/horror collection but here's a few jewels all the same. Of course, I'll never be happy with the collection & instead of being happy with what I have I obsess over what I don't. Collecting is such a fucking sickness, but I'm ok with it.

FEW majors I want: COMMANDER - High n' Mighty, COMMANDMENT "Engraved in Stone (Original), CRYING STEEL "On the Prowl"
LEATHER NUNN, WYZARD "Knights of Metal." Of course I'm gonna have to sell a few more fucking Chromiums before those things happen. So buy up!

In the process of putting together a visual computer catalogue of all the LP's to make things easier, but its monumental task.

MAKING MIDNIGHT CHAMPAGNE

2011-03-04T08:09:00.000-08:00

Dave, Rose & I really wanted to capture the sex romp, glam metal sleaze of the 4th issue & we all felt that my shitty art really wasn't gonna cut it. We knew immediately that Sharon Toxic of Toxic Vision http://www.etsy.com/shop/toxicvision would be perfect for the job; her work, reputation & glowing personality would be able to fucking zero-in on our collective vision of Chromium's idea of what Midnight Champagne would be. Boy, were we ever fucking right. Toxic called up the brilliant photograher, Dana Bruchette http://www.danabrushette.com/ & enlisted the talents of a small army of gorgeous models: Kristen Aubin, Jackie Szakall, Alycia Gallagher, Hayley Campbell and Emily Mandell, as well as a fucking equally beautiful & talented hair & Make-up team, Robyn Hancock, Paula Von Zombie, Jasmine Glass, & Rachel Naish. It was hilarious because, as you can probably tell, we really weren't in our element and we were obviously uncomfortable...at first. It was like a fuckin' Grade 7 dance. Girls on one side, loser dudes on the other.
We prepared a tray of fresh veggies & cookies for the models to appear professional. hahahahaha. At one point, Dave turned to me and said, "We're really treading new ground with shitty zines, dude. I feel like a pornograher. Jesus." We all cracked up & because we felt so uneasy I suggested we get a huuuge bottle of vodka & a two-four of Pabst. Everyone agreed. The fuckin party started & we got rite on 'er. A7 6:30 pm on sunday, the shoot was done & I was bombed like it was the fuckin' SuperBowl or something.

The work & effort all these ladies put into making this happen blew my mind & we will be forever thankful. They really captured the overall mood of our humble little publication. Hope you enjoy it, each one's a fucking lot of work to do but man, what a goddamn laugh too. Champagne wishes, kids.

Final Indy Mannequin...at Chromium Mansion

2011-03-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

So I got a bunch of e-mails to see the final Indy display I was working on. Done. Fuck man, was almost as much work as the Ghostbusters suit n' pack - ALMOST. Added Fuller's earth to age it and distress it. 100% screen accurate from the RAIDERS era. Added my Mola Ram statue # 95/750. Pretty sweet, oui? Yes, I know I'm a fuckin' nerd. Get ready for JASON part VI - with real shellacked maggots. ahahahaha. Rachel's tripping balls. Stay tuned & and have a couch ready in case I get divorced.

"Where the Fuckin' magic Goes Down"

2011-01-28T20:49:00.000-08:00

Hey MTV Cribs. Welcome to the offices of Chromium Dioxide. Here's where I draw & color. Work starts by 7:30 a.m & I stop at 10:15 for juice & a nap.

My board is actually an original one from Hanna Barbara - my favorite animation studio when I was a kid. Got this from one of their original animators. I met her in school. She had worked on Scooby-Doo, Quick Draw McGraw & Laugh Olympics. That blew my mind. She liked my "Jobbers" animation & said that I had appealing design skill & gave me the board. I think she just pitied me.

Awesome lazy Thursday

2011-01-27T16:27:00.000-08:00

Today wasn't as productive as I had hoped. Had way too much fun for a Wednesday last night & really paid the price. Drew a bit, inked, & scanned, but really had a hard time with the writing. Total block. Times like that, it's just better to fuck off & go back to it later. Coffee & a double-bill screening of PSYCHOMANIA & DAWN OF THE MUMMY really stirred the creative juices again & the icing on the cake was that I found 2 & half 7-11 taquitos and a bag of Sour cream & Onion Ruffles in the freezer!? I have no memory of this, & while that does concern me, there was fuckin' taquitos! (note to self - gym tomorrow)

Stymi, my free-reign pet Squirrel, stopped by on the patio & I fed him some pistachios. He's a pretty decadent guy so I try to spice things up a bit for him. Occasionally he gets garlic croutons when we're out of nuts. Great day. Everyone was a winner at Chateaux Chromium.

*if you're wondering why my Indiana Jones mannequin has no pants, it's because I'm waiting on a WESTED LEATHER order.

CHROMIUM DIOXIDE Special Edition with CAULDRON "BURNING FORTUNE" release

2011-01-26T10:51:00.000-08:00

That's right, gang. We've sold the fuck out! Not really, we're all good pals & we decided to help each other out. We'll be swimming in the loot soon enough! 8 pages focusing on the band, the process & all other shit, CAULDRON.

Buy it!

NEW SHIRT DESIGN

2011-01-26T10:50:00.000-08:00

COMING in 2011.

CHROMIUM 4!

2011-01-26T10:40:00.000-08:00

Soon bask in the sweet pink neon of MIDNIGHT CHAMPAGNE ! Everything's done & I'm presently doing lay-outs. Perhaps, I'll even proof-read this one. I dunno. Can't promise. We're far too steel for that. Really excited about this one and the experience making it was a total laugh. First issue to come with sleazy fold-out color centrefold.

Costume Finished

2011-01-26T10:28:00.000-08:00

Ha! Fuck you! Told you it'd be done. After months & months of painstaking research & money Ifinally finished this bastard off. I know, I know. I'm a nerd. I've accepted it a long time ago. So has my poor girlfriend. Just check out that sexy GQ pose on panel 4! God damn that's the one they were screaming for.

CHROMIUM III COMING SOON!

2010-03-22T04:42:00.000-07:00

So, here's the cover! As usual we're having a lot of laughs making this thing. But more than laughs we're also suffering quite a fuckin bit to bring you the finest of toilet reads.

We've packed so much into this thing that some of it is already spilling over to the the 4th issue. Not gonna give away any secrets, but it's a rad read, if I may be so bold. Nothing life changing or awe-inspiring, I'm afraid, but you know...same old Chromium shannigan-isms.

Anyway, it's coming in late April, early May. So there. Get ready for issue 3 - "SCAZZARD'S REIGN: RETURN TO SCAZZARD.

TAKING A BREAK FROM ART & WORKING ON A POSITRON COLLIDER...

2010-01-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

Ok, so apart from slave labor duties of writing & drawing for CHROMIUM, I usually kinda like unwinding with a few casual sips & work on another geeky passion of mine - props. I know, I know, start the shit flinging now. I get enough crap from the gang, girlfriend & the folks already, so pull up a chair and take part in the judgement. ahaha, fuck you, my good friends. keeps me sane & I guess it was a bug I picked up when I was directing & designing sets for plays in University.

Anyway, latest project is a full scale, 100% screen accurate Proton Backpack from one of my favorite films of all time, GHOSTBUSTERS. No! Not Ghostbusters II. That just sucked.

Anyway, something that I wanted to do my whole life. I used to strap my mom's vacuum on my back when I was a kid in a book bag & scope the house looking for weird shit. Well, I figured I owed it to my 7-year old self and finally make one.

I've been working on this for a while now because it's really gonna take a lot of time & cash to get this bastard rite & ready. The shells are all made from vacuumed pack shell. Each segment of the pack is divided into lots of small, mind-boggling parts that have to be spray painted, aged,

glued, screwed & wired. I got the blueprints, like a lot of other prop builders, from the actual production designs & websites. Most of the exact parts are available

from any hardware, army navy surplus or electronic shops. Special lights have

to be ordered online, as well as the sound effects mother boards & speakers. In total, the pack, gun, lights, uniform, & trap will be waaaay over $2000. I know. Fuckin crazy. It'll be worth it though. Chicks'll dig it (ahem).

Anyways, thought I'd share this shit with you bangers, because I know damn well there's a lot out there wh

o'd like to have one too. Drop Me a line if yo have any questions with this stuff.

And yes, CHROMIUM III is coming along quite nicely.

WORK PLAYLIST:

MASSACRE - From Beyond

RATT - Reach For the Sky

MIDNIGHT - Farewell to Hell

JUDAS PRIEST - Sad Wings of Destiny

BENJAMIN ORR - The Lace

SUMMER JOB - Soundtrack

PROJECT BEER OF CHOICE: Bohemian

BACKGROUND MOVIE: TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000

Keep it greasy - Philthy

The Return of the PENALIZER!? -

2010-01-11T07:24:00.000-08:00

BREAKING NEWS today for all you devout PENALIZER fans! Yes, despite all the raging debates on blabbermouth, Nathaniel Shawcross will be reforming the original 80's shockrock outfit with the complete original line-up, excluding, of course, lead guitarist, Mason De La Lequoirre, who was found dead in the aisles of a Jacksonville Wal-Mart 2 months ago.

"Mason's death was a bitter pill to swallow... because of all the unresolved issues we both had in the past. We hadn't spoken in years," said Shawcross. "It's only now that he's dead & gone that I miss his company. Of course, his "son" is in his late teens now & from what I hear, he's got some talent too. I guess it's fair to point out now though, that his kid wasn't actually his. In fact, it was mine. I made of the love with Mason's wife once on the Frenziedfuck tour & she got pregnant. It was a big secret, but now that he's dead, no harm in confessing."

Felix Monera & Vixx Naughton were more than pleased when they got the call. Both musicians had given completely up on music & worked diligently with UNICEF for years now, vastly improving the quality of life for a wide number of less fortunate children. "But it just wasn't satisfying, you know. Yeah sure, we were providing clean water supply & grains for the children & building schools & hospitals & shit like that. Really making a difference in their lives. It it was all good to see the smiles on their faces too, but you know what...what about my smiles!? I was never really content like I was having sex with teenage girls and doing rails of blow off of fancy hotel, pewter furniture," Said Naughton. I couldn't say no."

Actually, according to Shawcross, "the forthcoming album, "Fuck to Live...Dying to Fuck" was originally written as a solo concept album while I was working in the dinner theatre. I realized, however, that by announcing a reunion tour would be more profitable."
As for his weight gain, Shawcross promises that it'll only make the album sound heavier than ever. Stay tuned.

CATCHING UP WITH CLIVE

2010-01-11T04:27:00.000-08:00

It's an honor to have Mr. Dovington in Chromium HQ via the phone lines from Jolly Ol.' Clive's been working with us now for over year and we value his metal expertise, especially in the rich fields of NWOBHM (New Wave of British Heavy Metal -in case you don't know sweet fuck all). Welcome Sir.

Clive: 'Allo, 'allo, 'allo. What 'ave we 'ere?

CD: Philthy, brah.' That's what you got.

Clive: Awright geeezzaa! Where da fuck is Dave? Sorted mate!

CD: 'Prolly sick as fuck, my man. I know he's in the studio recording with SLAUGHTER STRIKE. Heavy as shit, dude, you'd probably hate it.

Clive: Lawd above! Dave's a upton park lad, no doubt. Real one ton ov a bitch. But I twilight crap 'im., innit.

CD:...yes. Exactly. So Clive's what's new, dude? What's on the playlist & how's work?

Clive: Ten rabi' 'utch man. Just 'ere workin' on da QUARTZ fan club, Mailin' aaaht membership cards what I just finished laminating.6 more members dis year already. Just started workin' at me mad lad's new chip stand an' I'm sellin' mixed tapes I made aaaht ov i' an' all. Deadly. I do believe you call 'em ....fries. Mad.

CD: So, what kind of tunes you have on say...your best seller bootleg cassette?

Clive: Lor' luv a duck! Glad you asked. It's fuckin' gem! Here's da tracklist . Nuff said, yeah?

Cronos - Dancing in the Fire , Saxon - "Still Fit to Boogie" Nightwing - "Evil Woman"

White Spirit - "High Upon High" Axis - "Galaxy of Love" Blackmayne - "Man Overboard"

Big Daisy -" Fever" Bollweevil- "Sands of Time" Hammer - "Caution to the Wind"

Helvellyn - "On Top and Movin' Goldsmith -"Everybody Needs It" & Race Against Time (demo) - "Bleed You Dry"

Phil: Nice. Not the standard line-up of tracks. How much for one?

Clive: How much do you you 'ave?

(Interview was cut short. Clive's Mom needed the phone)

CHROMIUM DIOXIDE II: THE PUMPENING

2009-09-18T05:14:00.000-07:00

So The Pumpening is all done and sent off to the immortal Scotty Woods of Sips Comics in Vancouver. Dave & I are more than pleased with the second issue, & in my humble opinion, it blows issue 1 outta the fuckin water. Lots of fun shit. Anyway, like issue #1 we're gonna have our release party soon & Dave & I will be DJ-ing again. Incredible turn-out last time so I can't wait to get drunk with every flavor of banger & punk again. The mag is avail by paypal from our site and various stores in States & Canada, but in Toronto it'll be sold at the following locations: HITS & MISSES, MONSTER RECORDS, SONIC BOOM, SUSPECT VIDEO, EYESORE VIDEO & ROTATE THIS. We're re-printing another 300 issue 1's as well. Awesome shirts coming too. That's it for now & yeas, we'll be posting a lot of new shit VERY soon too. Now, we begin CHROMIUM DIOXIDE III for Jan. release.

Animated Storyboards -NOT cartoons.

2009-06-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

Here's a few storyboards Tobe & I did in Flash, just to get to know the programs. The sound is horrid, but we didn't care about that. It was done in a bedroom with a computer mic. It was an exercise in lip synching and editing. Piss poor, but not bad for a first Flash attempt. Again, they're crappy, but I was really proud of the sets & character designs. Anyway, thought I'd share it with you. I got extra credits for actually animating my storyboards. I'm a real fuckin keener, no doubt, but it just goes to show, CHROMIUM takes no goddam short cuts. LIVE IT! LOVE IT!

PITTSBURGH PENGUINS CHAMPIONS - 2008/2009

2009-06-13T07:33:00.000-07:00

Reunited & it feels so fuckin good! Gonna keep this short for a number of reasons: It hasn't really sunk in yet. I can't stop tearing up (fuck, it's been 17 years) & lastly I'm so biblically hungover. All I wanna say at this moment is that all my training...the beers ..the chicken wings eaten, & the victory cigarettes...it was all worth it in the end. Congrats to my beloved Pittsburgh Penguins & to the greatest city in the world, PITTSBURGH! A big ol' high five to all the heroes & the muckers & grinders that made this come true and to finally topple that sinister Red giant. Fuck, I'm crying again! I gotta get a Gatorade. grape.

Fuck you Hossa, you...you..Benedict Arnold!

R.I.P. David Carradine

2009-06-04T10:20:00.001-07:00

So like any other typical North American dipshit I sat my ass down this morning and checked my e-mail. As I opened up tha' net I was greeted by a headline that gave me a bit of a shock: Actor David Carradine found dead at age 72. I suppose you gotta leave this toilet we call Earth sometime. But he wasn't just found dead. Oh no. Ol' David "Frankenstein" Carradine was found hanging in a luxury suite in Bangkok, Thailand. Talk about greasy.

I had heard rumours that Carradine was a career on-and-off alchoholic and had struggled with various drug addictions. Perhaps his demons finally caught up with him in his twilight. Carradine was one of the last graduates of the old school "work for your money" actors and was in many ways a stately product of a gritty, exploitation film environment. We here at Cr02 figured his passing deserved observation.

Personally, I've always loved Carradine for his role as the crazed, sadistic Frankenstein in the 1975 automobile slaughterfest Deathrace 2000. DR2K was one of the very first cult flicks I ever saw, and did so at a very young age. Lurid scenes of bodies flying into the air after being pulverized by demonically souped up cars had my young, tender sponge of a brain enthralled. It may have been low-brow and low-budget but Paul Bartel's gas-driven, violence drenched vision of the future struck a chord with me and led to a pursuit of like mided films that carries through to the present day. And let us not forget Carradine's character Frankenstein. A leather clad motor-murderer extrordinaire with one of the most vicious on-screen rides ever seen since Phantasm's '74 Hemicuda rode out to Morningside.

The irony-tinged retro fascination that our culture seems be in the grip of gave a bit of a second wind to Carradine's career in the years leading up to his apparent suicide. Most of that is due to his major role in the Kill Bill franchise. Personally, I've always found Tarantino and his big-chinned work pretty fucking irritating, but I admit it was sage of him to toss ol' Carradinus Maximus in the mix as the remorseless badass villain.

Rest in Peace old boy. May you rack up and endless score of mangled pedestrians and children in heaven!!! Ride on! --Slimer

The Power Remains.... Amebix live!!

2009-06-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

Yeah yeah, I can hear you Chrome-hounds out there: "Where the fuck is Slimer!?" So I'm a little late for the blog party, but hey, shit came up and you can't rush excellence.

I'm checking in for the first of many posts to regale you all about having one of my musical dreams fulfilled last Saturday night as I witnessed the mighty Amebix live in the flesh. I admit there was part of me that was initially skeptical when I heard they were re-uniting for a tour with none other than Rob Mayorga behind the kit. For me and many others, Amebix is a very personal band. Those of you who are fans may know what I mean. They have a very evolved and potent aesthetic to them musically and especially lyrically. I've always felt they left a perfectly succinct legacy behind them when they disbanded. Could a live reunion tour after all this time really have the same powerful, singular, goosebump inflicting effect that their recordings have?

The answer is yes. Unquestionably. Holy fuck!

The day began early under the weight of a nuclear hangover. Spending the afternoon in the company of old friends sipping vodka from watermelons and properly Tying One On to a soundtrack of vintage metal and ALF impressions had me in the perfect state to see one of my musical heroes.

Many beers later as I watched The Baron, Stig, and Mr. Mayorga take the stage I couldn't help but scream primordially in excitement. As they strapped on their instruments and a wash of dark noise came over the PA I realized it: "This is going to be amazing". Their set was loud as fuck, tight, powerful and spanned their whole recording career. Rob Mayorga is a fucking phenomenal drummer and the perfect human being to be driving Amebix forward. I and countless others were blown away and simply enraptured by the spectacle of these warriors delivering their vision of the world. It was such an intense show that I admit I shed a tear or two during the chorus of Arise.

If you have yet to witness this tour, do it. THE POWER REMAINS.

HEAVY METAL BBQ'd 09

2009-06-01T06:10:00.000-07:00

Heavy Metal BBQ'd 09 was a huge success & this years attendees: TOXIC HOLOCAUST, AGGRESSOR, SLAUGHTER STRIKE, CAULDRON & MIDNIGHT CHAMPAGNE fit the roster just rite. Hats off to Craig Rose management on another fine-assed day of dynamite bbq. The spread was incredible and several can of Tiger Beer and Pabst lost thier lives in honor of the event. I was kinda' concerned about Dave not making the event. Apparently, Dave work up on someone's lawn in Kensington Market after a Biblical night of binge drinking Friday night. But in true Slimer fasion, the BBQUTIONER showed up (late) "prettied & perfumed" with a fistful of African sausages (hahahahaha. that doesn't sound right).
TOXIC lads brought a bottle of Vodka & a watermelon but didn't soak it all night, so it wasn't absorbing properly. We decided ro scoop its guts out and just fuckin pour it in and drink from the melon. Things kinda got greasy at that point.
Despite all the festivities - the ACE LANE, TORCH,

HELL, TALON, & U.D.O. sing alongs, I couldn't help obsessively thinking of the hockey game. Alas, Craig had no cable. But Philly Z had a brilliant idea to hook up an acoustic guitar to the back of the tv through a string. Finally a practical use for that goddamn instument. Worked perfectly, but it didn't help the PENS win. FUCK.

A great night all around and went into the early morning.
05:37 I woke up in the pits of hell. I felt a wave of nausea come over me not felt since the GREAT HANGOVER of'97. I ran to the washroom, but sadly did not make

it, sending a spray of puke all over the kitchen, slipped on it in my haste, puked on the walls (and EVEN the fuckin ceiling), only to make it to the toilet for a final spit and defeated sigh.

The Pens lost again that day. FUCK SUNDAYS ANYWAY.

BEFORE THERE WAS CHROMIUM,THERE WAS...disappointment

2009-05-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

Of all the failures in my life, the biggest & the bitterest pill of all to swallow, would have to be the failure of my "could've, would've, should've" animation series, "JOBBERS."

To give you a little bit of backgroud on myself, I, along with my cousin, Toby Aylward owned & operated a comic/graphic/rock swag shop in Wabush, Labrador called ADMIRAL BLISS COMICS. Apart from running the shop, Tobe & I taught art & basic animation to BAD kids. Poor little bastards were exposed to a lot of shit waaaay before their time, and thinking back, perhaps a screening of CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST to a bunch of 10 year olds might've been an exercise in poor judgement but, I dunno. World's a wonderful shithole, & with seeing an anally impaled woman on a wooden stake or a rusty machete castration outta the way, they were well on their way outside the safe, naive confines of their Grade 4 walls.

At night, Tobe & I drank excessively in the shop, listening to tunes, from SLAYER to ALDO NOVA, & began developing an animated series of our own. Not entirely sure of what we wanted to do, we toyed with a couple of ideas ranging from the lurid adventures of The Bearded Child (yes, I was smoking a lot of Hash) to a villanous rouge named SIR-GRAPES-A-LOT. Nothing was really gelling. I was sick as fuck of superheroes, but for some reason (maybe it was the fact that we were developing in a comic shop) it was all I could think. But then, in a stroke of genius, Tobe blurted, "what about wrestling?" Boom. Genius. It was in front of us the whole time! Tobe is one of the biggest wrestling fans of all time (he owns every VICTORY, WWWF-WWF-WWE mag ever!). I hadn't been a fan since Hogan lost to that over-rated fuck, the Ultimate Warrior in 1990, but it seemed like it could be a funny cartoon, with a lot of great characters. We aggreed that it had to be raw & very adult humor driven, like a PG-13 to an R-rated Hulk Hogan's Rock n' Roll Wrestling. Here's what we came up with:

"JOBBERS" FOCUSES ON THE CONTINUING CONFLICT BETWEEN 2"HAS BEEN" WRESTLERS & THEIR RESPECTIVE OPPOSING FRAT HOUSES ON THE CAMPUS OF A PRESTIGIOUS UNIVERSITY -SPECIALIZING IN EVERY ASPECT OF PRO WRESTLING. A TERRITORIAL BATTLE ON CAMPUS BETWEEN "THE PENALIZERS" (HEELS), LED BY A VERY BITTER SIR GRAPES-A-LOT & "THE MISSIONARY SIX" LED BY FORMER CHAMPION THE GOLDEN IDOL WHILST TRYING TO ACHEIVE THEIR DEGREES AND ENTER THE BIG LEAGUE & A CHANCE TO FOR THEIR LEADERS TO REGAIN FALLEN SUPERSTAR STATUS.

Long story short, we wrote a 40 page bible: character discriptions, rotation sheets, mouth charts, 24 episode synopsis & a hilarious pilot show that had the balls to begin as a "remember when" clip show, something that a series wouldn't dream of doing unless, of course, they were running out of ideas. We gained a lot of attention, and people were interested. Tobe & I closed down shop, moved to Toronto to take it to

the next level & then...the air blew outta the sails. No one would touch it. We attended several conventions & a lot of false promises were made. Even a game was proposed. We were told that we needed to make the pilot first. We also needed a production company and we had ZERO fuckin money. We charged at it with blinders and sadly. we hit a brick wall...hard. I was pretty depressed & kinda felt utterly defeated. Sad part was, I know it'd work. Fuck man. THE WRESTLER won academy awards! That was the same story, but ours was a comedy. Either way, it seemed to be a lost cause and I started doing freelance work designing menus, business logos, some band t-shirts & covers. To make ends meet Tobe & I took jobs as Security guards on Gerrard/Jarvis dealing with hookers, bums, & crack heads. Not exactly the plan.

(TOP: L-R MASKED ALCOHOLIC, MAGBJORN P.I.,SIN-IN-THE-SUBURBS, AGING HIPSTER, HUMAN SCORPION MAN & GOLDEN IDOL. THREE DOLLAR BILLIE)

(BOTTOM: L-R BEE KEEPER, SERFEI PISTOV, JAILBAIT. NAPOLEON COMPLEX. DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED SEAMAN, SIR GRAPES-A-LOT, SHEIK AHNEIDTOSHEET)

CHROMIUM's really been a pick me up and when I say thanks for buying it, I REALLY fuckin mean it. And a big thanks again! Metal's always been there & always will. A solid bastard of a bro - a sexist, sometimes misogynistic, immature, corny, pissy pal, but no matter what, it's ALWAYS put a smile a face & I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing with my life than writing about it...apart from escorting urinating bums off property & dodging pocket knife weilding hookers, of course.

Yes, what a wonder shithole this world is.

WORKING ON THE SECOND ISSUE

2009-05-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

It's 11:16 on Friday night & here I am slaving away on the second issue of CR02. Sad really. Actually, I'm feeling kinda' shitty from another fuckin cold coming on, and the thought of drinking tonight is making me feel worse (See Ma, I'm not an alcoholic). Just finished an interview and a few drawings in between a couple of Castlevania III sessions. The second issue's really shaping up and 75% of the art is drawn, inked, and scanned at 300 dpi. (any bigger andit really slows down the process.

For those of you who may've noticed a kind of blurriness in the first issue, it was due to me designing EVERYTHING in Photoshop Elements. Every page had about 150-200 layers, then flattened. It turned the text to a JPEG image creating that blurry effect. My bad...sorry. Fuck it, it was the first issue. You have to learn.

As for the printing process, issue 2 will once again be done by SIPS Comics (South Island Printing Services) in Vancouver. They've been real bros about the whole thing & I wanna stick with them. Ontario, funny enough, wasn't too co-operative. We learned quickly that it was easier to ship it in from Vancouver, if you can believe it.

Getting back to the first issue, we're running pretty low. We're gonna reprint some more, but that'll be it. 2nd printing will also have something slightly different, just to be all George Lucas/Marvel comics marketing-like.

That's all I have to say now, really. Just an update. But know this, CHROMIUM DIOXIDE 2:THE PUMPENING will rip your balls off & store 'em in a jar right next to Papa Doc's. I'm off to bed, soft core Spanish porn is on.

E.T. VS. PREDATOR

2009-05-29T07:03:00.000-07:00

So here's the plot so far. Film takes place, like. 3 or 4 years after E.T and Elliot part ways. When E.T. comes back to visit Elliot on his March break weekend, like 3 or 4 years later), he finds Elliot has changed a lot. He's got new friends & a controlling bitch girlfriend. No place for E.T. So basically, E.T. says "fuck this," bails on Elliot (without burning any bridges) and goes off to explore other worlds.Long story short, E.T. arrives on the planet....Predernia. He doesn't fit in and the Predators are gonna kill theshit out of him, but then, the village elder of the Predators (a hard ass, but time-has-kinda-made-him-soft-sort-of-guy) realizes that E.T. would be a good companion for his autistic predator son. E.T. agrees, and the rest is movie magic.Let me know if you'd like to fund this project.

NHL PLAY OFFS 2009

2009-05-29T04:08:00.000-07:00

Alright, I know, ok. So this is supposed to be a metal site and what do I do first thing? A post about hockey!? Deal with it, assholes. My second favorite thing in the world, the immortal PITTSBURGH PENGUINS, are returning to the finals after a crushing defeat last year by the evil Detroit Red Wings. The defeat, to say the least. was a solid kick in the balls...but sadly expected.

I won't bore you with stats & figures, but the Cliff's Notes version of the PENS 2008-2009 season was less than impressive: Crosby went into a scoring slump, we lost way more then we won (how's that for simplified), and coach, Michel Therrien was given the boot. My eyebrow seemed to be permantly cocked at that point, & I really saw no reason for it to be lowered. Until after Christmas.

On Feb. 15th, Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins coach, Dan Bylsma stepped in as interim coach and at age 38, making him the youngest coach inthe NHL. Through his first 25 games as Penguins' coach, his 18–3–4 record amounted to 40 points—the second most of any coach in NHL history through their first 25 games. (I know, I know...stats!)
On Tuesday April 28, 2009, Penguins General Manager Ray Shero announced that Bylsma had been named permanent head coach of the team.

Under "Disco Dan" Blysma, the Pens made it into the finals, eradicating past sins, and sliding comfortably into 4th in the Eastern division.

The playoffs this year weren't as smooth as last year. Pens, off the bat, had to face 2 of their dreaded foes, the Philadelphia Flyers & the Washington Capitals. Long story short, Pens defeated the Flers in six games in a brutally violent series, and the Caps in a crushing, bitter-sweet 6-2 win over the Caps & Ovechkin in 7 games. A great fuckin series! Hats off to the Ovie' & the Caps, but a bigger fuck you, all the same. Enjoy your summer. Next up was this years sleeper team, The Carolina Hurricanes. I was really worried about this one, especially with Cam Ward in net. But apparently I had nothing to worry about- the PENS swept them in 4 games!?

Now, my friends, the PENS find themselves back into the lion's den againt Detroit once again in the first back-to-back cup rematch since the 84-85 OILERS/ISLANDERS series. I just wanna say how much I fuckin HATE Detroit, as much I fear & respect them. Let's face it. They're fuckin machines...and they know it, coming across at times like heels in some Vestron Video, 80's sex comedy - a bunch of tennis racket carrying, Chaz Worthington III's, out to close the local arcade, so that Daddy can set up a whites-only golf resort. It's true, Get out your hockey cards & look at them, for fuck sakes!

Am I nervous? Yes, I'm shitting my pants, but I will say this:very rarely do you get a second shot at the cup. The PENS have earned that opportunity. Last year, experience triumphed over youth, and yeah, the better team one. This year, however, the PENS have experience under their belt too (albeit, less than the Wings) They know how to win, because they know how to loose (deep). Malkin's awake, Crosby's on fire, Guerin & Kunitz have fit in beautifully, adding to Crosby's game. Fedatenko has filled the void for that cock-sucker, Hossa, and even Talbot and Eaton have surprisingly stepped up. What about Gonchar, you say? Fuck yeah, Gonchar! But he's gotta step it up way more in the PENS dismal powerplay against these Nazis. As for goalie, Marc-Andre Fleury, (a true metal head, by the way) he's been doing amazing as well -WHEN HE STAYS IN THE FUCKING NET!!!

Anyway, that's all I gotta say about that. Game 1 tomorrow on CBC in Detroit. GO PENS GO. oh yes, and one more thing, FUCK YOU HOSSA, you miserable sack of shit